With the new year quickly approaching, its only appropriate that I begin removing ALL toxins and dispose of them with 2010. This cleanse is not one that will have me rushing to the nearest GNC to purchase the 7 Day Complete Body Cleanse or flushing my insides with endless amounts of water to achieve a "golden glow." The things i'll be purging are the toxic relationships I've accumulated; the impurities I've collected from infectious friendships, fake-Ass romances, and anything else that has poisoned my sanity.
Let's start with the friendships that have been nothing more than me being an accomplice to someone's counterfeit life. I mean, how am I benefiting from playing a role in the next bitch's illusion? Why is it that stroking YOUR ego is the glue that holds this camaraderie together? Since when did the simplicity of SISTERHOOD become replaced with fakeness and competition? I need a "sister-friend" that I don't have to watch around my man, worry about sabotaging my reputation, or one where I have to downplay MY SEXY on girls' night out, just to ensure SHE has a good time. Enough of that bullshit! I need this type of friendship the same way I need razor bumps on my freshly shaven "Va-jay-jay, hours before the date I've spent ALL WEEK preparing for! Where's the witch hazel when you need it!?!?
And, where do I begin with the fake-Ass romances? I've spent more time RAISING boys into men, racking up expenses that have lasted longer than the ACTUAL relationship, and analyzing random text messages sent to my phone "in error." All for some Dick? NEGATIVE! Unless, Mr. Dick's owner has a bank account with overdraft protection, a car that he's NOT hiding from the repo-man,and an employer with a Legitimate federal tax ID number! Most importantly, Mr. Dick can NOT have a woman with a "title"...."wife" or "girlfriend"....Just WON'T DO.
In closing......I will be enjoying my 2011 with a New "vegan-style diet" that is sure to filter out ALL impurities. All fake Ass people...NEED NOT APPLY!
Happy New Year - Mimi