Total Pageviews

Thursday, January 13, 2011

The Final Diagnosis

***In response to Alfred Parker's version of James' response, located in the comments of 'Diagnosis'*****

Dear James,

Throughout our relatoinship, I've always prided myself in taking the high road. Your ignorance makes me wanna revert back to the days of 75th and Hoover,Turkish Chains, and Bamboo Earrings. You know? The days when I was kickin' ass and asking questions later? But I'm too grown for that now. I've decided to maintain my sexy and let this pen do the ass whoopin' instead.

Let me first commend you on your ability to remain consistent. It is apparent that the state of oblivion you lived in when I met you, hasn't changed based on your delusional response to my letter. I take full responsibility for not paying attention to the signs. Although your life may not have been worth a "bareback, bottoms up, bang out," it was the epitome of a BROKEBACK, bottoms up, bang out. You should have stayed off of that mountain. I didn't know to take Peter(our neighborhood Avon sales rep) literal when he got mad and said he was going to rip you a new ass hole. Now it makes perfect sense how he so easily convinced you to put down the fishing pole and instead spend your spare time selling lipsticks and blush. But I've never been one to knock someone's hustle, no matter what it is.

That's neither here nor there. What is important, is that I clear up the confusion about our recent doctor's visit that you mentioned. I admit, I had one too many deviled eggs and too many pieces of fried fish. And yes, it resulted in my positive high cholesterol screening. It doesn't surprise me that you have continued to have your cholesterol checked as often as you do. You always have been obsessed with your eating habits. BRAVO on your negative results.

However that's not the appointment I'm referring to. If you recall, I was writing the letter during my ride ALONE on the subway. If you were with me, there would be no need to write you. I won't waste anymore time convincing you of something you already know. That would be foolish.

The same amount of energy you're spending lying to yourself, should be spent accepting your diagnosis. I will admit I was wrong in the SOURCE of infection. Turns out, the pipe was the reason behind Regina's skeletal appearance. Peter will, undoubtedly be the cause of ours.


No comments:

Post a Comment